Love After Thirty
To love all ages owe submission. No one can call it in question. And all women regardless of age behave identically in the period of love. It is so embarrassing to confess yourself that you, a thirty-year-old woman, behave like a whimsical, capricious and irresolute girl of marriageable age. I’ve noticed it for the first time when a friend of mine fell in love. What does she want? Why does she need these emotional storms at the drop of a hat, endless claims and crying jags when life is returning to normal, at last? You have your dear and mutual understanding. Live and be happy! But she answered me that I was hard-hearted and shrewd, reasoned like a man and didn’t understand her. Also read our dating tips for girls.
But then my turn came in a queue for love. I fell in love “from top to bottom”. And then my spiritual torments started. Where were my shrewdness and hard-heartedness? I’ve never thought that a mature, reasonable, confident of her strength and irresistibility, successful in terms of career and motherhood woman could do such kind of stupidity. I did not even notice as I started getting attached to a man so strongly, hungering for endless mutual pastime so badly and entering his life so confidently, that I almost lost my own life.
I tried to build an ideal relationship with absolute mutual understanding and without any misunderstanding. But it was very painful to realize that there was a huge difference between the role I played in his life and the role I wanted to play. I saw that this man was not able to see and want all those displays and realizations of love in our tandem, which I saw and wanted. He set priorities differently. When I felt that something was wrong, I asked him about what he wanted. I wanted to know whom we should be for each other to achieve harmony. He answered: like-minded persons. The circumstances were such that this conversation remained unfinished and he left. I had five days for reflection. I was lucky, because one night was enough for me. I was tormenting myself by searches of the essence of what was going on and my position in the given situation till five o’clock in the morning.
I knew that I sincerely loved this man and wanted to be next to him, but I didn’t know how to maintain this relationship, and what is more, how and on the basis of what to form my vision of our future life. I should especially mention that I’m guided by intuition and emotions more that by common sense. Maybe, it was my emotions that were suppressing my consciousness. The problem is that when you are eighteen years old, you just live and enjoy the moments of happiness and dreams about future without thinking about responsibility for your relationship, for feelings of a man next to you and for possible outcomes. But when you are thirty years old, everything is vice versa.
You already have some experience, know what it is like to go through mental anguish and how hard it is to admit your mistakes and to draw conclusions. Every reader has first-hand knowledge of problems that arise between people in love. On the one hand, these problems are different for everyone, but, on the other hand, they still are the same. Our problem was that we couldn’t find our place in life of each of us. I felt lack of openness and absolute trust, and he fell short of understanding of what I needed and generally why a woman could have a claim on a man. It is strange, but I understood, that my problem was in me, by four o’clock in the morning. Not in him, not in circumstances, but just in me. And I’m the only one who can solve this problem.
Everyone has problems and no one will solve them for you. We are either ready to accept our problems and change something or not. Do you agree that it is very difficult to help yourself. You fall – you stand up – you move on. The situation with your problems is the same: you realize a problem – you solve it – you move on. And if not, alas and alack! I'm ashamed to say, but my problem is in inability to love myself. I’ve always thought that I have really too much self-love, but I was wrong. Does a woman, who appreciates herself, have any doubts about being loved or needed?
Does she have any doubts about her capabilities and dignities? Does she need to hear declarations of love and praises? Does it important to her to be a significant other? Not really. She is an integrated personality without it. Only being an integral, self-satisfied person, you can make anyone happy. You can implicitly and undoubtedly love and respect other people only if you love and respect yourself. If a man is at peace with himself, he is open for everything beautiful and pure and can be a creator of all this. To multiply is much easier than to create from nothing. Such man walks along the path of least resistance, and most of us usually choose the path of most resistance. That is why such man attracts people like a magnet. Two such persons will always be on equal terms. They won’t detract from merit of each other and will always be like-minded persons. At least, they have a chance.